I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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