Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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