For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
