I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
