Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
