thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
