Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
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