fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I don't think brook has ever known best
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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