dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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