man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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