i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
