dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
