walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
