OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Still dying that you shit outside
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
