At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
