And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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