If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
