oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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