Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
