Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
...so i touched it.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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