That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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