And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
