So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
