I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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