Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
we made out on top of his cat.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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