problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
