Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
