she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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