Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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