C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
