I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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