my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize