Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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