idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
