beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
