oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize