why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
They have beer where we have blood.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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