Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
