You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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