if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
