She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
