Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
