I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
