I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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