Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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