weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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