dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
