i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
