her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
