Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
