When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
His nipple licking is glorious
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