I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
