in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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