Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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