PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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