Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
