I think I am morally bankrupt
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
