So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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